A new chapter in my life has officially begun. Although I have been separated from my ex for over two years now, the divorce is final. I got the final paperwork April 1, 2010. It doesn't feel that different because of our lengthy separation, but it is a bit strange. I no longer have health insurance, and that isn't a good thing, but the children will keep their benefits. All in all the process was very good, and my ex and I get along great for the most part.
Political correctness aside, I have to be honest. Sometimes I feel as if I'm holding back in my blog posts since it is public and anyone can read my personal thoughts and feelings. Ironically, I want people to read my thoughts though. I know...getting around my weird little head is not for the faint of heart, but back to my honest feelings.
The truth is, I'm feeling it all. I'm scared, but since I've been living as a single parent anyway for the past two years, I know what to expect, and so do the children.
I think I'm scared because there is no going back, and it is almost as if a bridge has been burned, and I'm horrible at burning bridges! I'm not the type of person who puts finality in an ended relationship. If at all possible, I will fight tooth and nail to at least keep a friendship if only for the fact that me and that person shared something at one point.
The fact that we have been able to maintain a friendship and improve on it for that matter has been wonderful for the children, and I am very thankful that it has worked out like this.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with the decision. I'm excited about my new chapter, my crossing of the bridge if you will. I keep seeing the woman on a hill,wind blowing in her hair, and letting the scarf blow away in the true spirit of letting go.
All I can do is try my hardest to enjoy the journey, and not worry so much about the destination. Why is this so hard to do? It makes life so much more enjoyable when this is accomplished, but I am the worst about thinking about things entirely too much.
They say the first step is admitting it right? Well, here goes. My name is Amie, and I over think things too much! ;-)
