Struggling

I know that my blog is supposed to be an uplifting read of how the single mother can accomplish anything!

I am realizing now more than ever that this just isn't possible. There are ways to get things accomplished, but sometimes I feel like I'm sinking rather than rising above and beyond.

Today I actually got to my first class early despite only one hour of sleep. The one hour of sleep wasn't for lack of trying, as I went to sleep at 11 p.m. I couldn't get my brain to rest and I kept thinking about things that shouldn't even be stressful to me at all, but actually have been the cause of most of my heartache and lack of rest for the past few months.

Sometimes I feel like I am doing a wonderful job getting everything accomplished. I get to class on time, homework gets completed, have my blogs posted in a timely manner for the PR office, and spend quality time with my children.

I wonder how successful single moms of the past have accomplished everything they have to do. For the love of God, I know I'm not the only woman to go through a divorce while taking care of the children, going to school, and working to make ends meet.

I'm currently reading the book "Standing Alone: An American Woman's Struggle for the Soul of Islam" by Asra Nomani. I had the privilege of meeting Asra when she came to speak at Vol State a few weeks ago.

As strange as this may sound, her struggles that she has overcome is such a motivation for me. She is a single mother herself, and former journalist for the Wall Street Journal. I feel a sort of kinship with her if that makes any sense.

She has struggled with faith in her religion, and that is another thing I can definitely relate to.

Basically, I am doing the best that I can and trying to stay focused on the goal.

Math Mayhem

Stress abounds whenever I think of math. Ever since the age of six, I remember math being an issue for me.

When the other first grade children had no problem learning addition and subtraction, I struggled. This problem continued well into long division, fractions, and Algebra in high school.

I'm scheduled to graduate Vol State May 2010, and while I got a fabulous A in History it took me two tries to get through Basic Math, and this is my second semester trying Elementary Algebra.

It is frustrating that you have to get at least a seventy five percent to pass the developmental classes. Personally I feel like if you have that much trouble with the subject in the first place, why make it harder?

When I have homework in Algebra, these are the days I depend on Scarlett's dad to take her for a couple of hours. Being the vibrant four year old she is, she isn't very happy when the attention is taken away from her due to "My Math Lab."

I believe that unless you are an engineer, computer programmer, or doctor, you don't need to know how to solve 8(8-y)/3=-y. I can't recall one time in my life of balancing my checkbook that a calculator didn't help me get the job done!

I just hope and pray that I can do well on the future tests so that I can pass this class, and move on!

Morning Madness

Mornings have a tendency to be crazy in my household. It doesn't help matters when I have a distinct tendency to procrastinate. Even when I have the best intentions to get out the door in x amount of time, it seems to fail.

My first class is at 8:00am, and I get up anywhere between 5:30-6:30am. I really shouldn't get up later than 6am because I know that I have to have my coffee and watch a little TV, check email etc. to get going.

Even on the best of days when I'm ready this is when my daughter Scarlett decides to be four. Okay, she is four but it is becoming apparent that she is more and more like mommy when it comes to getting out the door. We can both be dressed and packed up and it still takes me an extra thirty minutes to get her out the door and in her car seat.

She is going through a very rebellious stage and short of dragging her out the door before Dora, Mickey, Backyardigans, you name it is over she won't budge. There has come a point on a few days where I have had to pick her up kicking and screaming and try my damnedest to get her in the car seat.

This struggle doesn't make for getting to class on time. I'm usually between five to twenty minutes late to my first class and if I miss attendance being called I'm not counted present for the day.

I know this sounds crazy and exasperating but honestly I'm very lucky to have my children, and it is always a learning process.